Texts from our partners tend to come with an unspoken deadline, Marla Mattenson, a relationship and intimacy coach, told Business Insider. If you don’t respond within a certain amount of time, you know there will be consequences.
The issue here may also not be the sender, but the content. As we get further into a relationship, texting tends to be less about flirting and more about logistics.
“It’s typically not a sexy text or ‘Hey, just sending you lots of love,'” Mattenson said. “It’s probably a ‘When are you coming home’ or ‘Will you pick up these things on the way home.'”
Here, Mattenson recommends modeling. Send your partner the kind of texts you would like to see lighting up your phone. Think about how you can make your texts more fun or playful, even if they are about who needs to pick up the almond milk on the way home. If you feel pressed for time, consider sending an emoji to confirm that you got the note.
“Obviously this depends on your relationship, but if there’s still hope in the relationship, then one of the best things you can do is model the kind of behavior you would like to receive,” Mattenson said.